Life Leave Me Alone Op-Ed: Wait, AM I THE SEXIST!?

During all this talk of sexism in the comics industry during the past few months, I’ve really attempted to check myself on my own socially ingrained sexism. I consider myself a feminist. I support my wife in advocating for women’s rights as it pertains to birth and pregnancy. Further, I don’t remember the men in my life (father, grandfather, etc.) being overtly sexist and I was raised in a Methodist church where women are ordained and seen equally as leaders. So, it would be easy for me to assume that my character and upbringing were prime to produce an effective male feminist.


However, as we’ve discussed on the podcast, the quickest way to go from “ally” to “perpetrator” can often be seeing yourself as somehow incapable of sexism. That being the determination, I’ve been analyzing my attitudes toward, not just women in my life, but the female characters I encounter everyday on TV and in comics.

While reading the most recent issue of Uncanny X-Men, penned by the one and only Brian Bendis, I realized something very telling about myself. I am now and have always been EXTREMELY uncomfortable with Emma Frost. Like, reading any story with her as a prominent part of it makes me squirm in my seat. I tried to encapsulate this feeling and prod at it for a few moments, sort of exploring the notion that maybe I just don’t like the character. Maybe it was Bendis or Bachalo’s portrayal of her in this specific situation or maybe I’ve just never really seen the merit in Emma in totum. But as I tested my different theories, I started to really see the character for who she was and how effective she is in the context of this and other X-men stories.

Then it struck me.

At my core, I am TERRIFIED of Emma Frost.

The idea of a sexually attractive genius who I couldn't best in physical combat and is blatantly into bondage fashion and feminine strength is so unnerving to me that I can scarcely bare it. And isn't that the root of sexism; the idea that a certain type of woman terrifies us? My reptilian brain sees her and says “make a baby”. So then the slightly (SLIGHTLY) more advanced part of my brain tries to figure out how. From there, my insecurities automatically chime in (don’t they always) and say “well, you’re definitely not charming her. She seems a bit above that.” Then there’s a part of me that says “outsmart her”. Not happening. In an act of desperation I go back to the reptilian brain space and think “make her do it”. At this point, two things happen:

1.) The much more developed part of my brain (my soul?) says “no dude, you don’t force women to do things”.

2.) The baser, more logical part of my brain interjects “even if you were that kind of villain, you couldn’t make her do ANYTHING if you tried”.

So where does that leave me? Scared.
Scared that a woman could be in complete control of my mind, my body, and my dick.

Scared that other women might figure out that they have the power to make life, be geniuses, beat my ass, and force me to want to make a baby with them then reject me.

I become scared that the control I, as a white male, have fought for centuries to maintain over my environment will crumble around me in moments. Emma Frost creates fear in men and we all know what our dear friend Yoda said about where fear leads to.

So there it is. There’s my sexism laid bare by something as silly as a sexy X-men character. I encourage all you dudes out there to find and be honest about where your discrimination insidiously sinks its claws in. Take the time you would have spent today commenting on a Tess Fowler post or lambasting some male creator who’s misbehaved and lambaste yourself a little bit. You may be appalled at what you find.

Stay Positive,
Matt